How it feels when your children grow up

how it feels when your children grow up

It’s a funny thing watching your children grow, as time passes and birthdays come and go the realisation hits you that they are no longer your baby or your toddler.

They become little people, independent from you.

First they go to school, then on trips to the petting zoo and playdates. As the years go by they are all of a sudden young adults, the petting zoo turns into a weekend in Paris and the playdate becomes a house party.

It really does happen so fast.

Too fast.

how it feels when your children grow up

Before you know it the small boy who used to be pressed against your hip in his Power Rangers pyjamas is buying a navy blue suit for the prom.

He doesn’t fit against your hip anymore because he’s a good foot taller than you. It’s the strangest thing, trying to figure out how this giant once fitted inside your body! How he grew and grew until he was bigger than six feet tall.

The little girl who you used to sit and wait for outside ballet class is now buying a bus day rider ticket and negotiating her way around the city to go shopping with friends.

I sometimes wonder if my older children remember the bond we had when they were little. Unbreakable still, yes, but so very different than it once was.

I wonder if my daughter knows that I still pause outside her bedroom to listen to her breathing each night on my way to bed.

I wonder if my son knows about the time I felt so panicked after the minibus departed for his first scout trip that I followed it all the way down the motorway just to check he was safe. He’s talking about getting a moped soon, how can I follow him now?

I can’t.

I know I have to accept that they are older and they don’t need me in the same way anymore but in many ways I hate it and I ask myself if that’s crazy or weird or if every mum feels the same way.

I am unbelievably proud of the young adults my children have become and all that they’ve achieved  but when I look back on all our years together, I feel so nostalgic for the little people they once were and such a longing for those childhood days and back to a time when they would leave notes for the tooth fairy and still believed in Father Christmas.

For children it’s exciting to edge closer to those teenage years and young adulthood but for the parents it’s so bittersweet watching them grow and I don’t think I will ever get used to it because there’s never enough time to enjoy it, just as it is.

Children have the unforgivable habit of growing up-Bjarne Reuter

Title image credit:Pyjama School

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Comments

  • Lucy (Hello Beautiful Bear)

    Written on 15th July 2015

    Reply

    This made me well up, my daughter is only 5 months old but I can’t cope with how quickly the time has passed, she’s growing bigger every day, her face changes and she’s so independent already….

    I think about this every day, I’m so scared that I’m not treasuring every moment, that I’m going to blink and miss her childhood, I just wish it could stand still for a while so I had time to appreciate her without life getting in the way.

    This is a beautiful post, as always. The last sentence just hit home so hard.

    X X
    Lucy (Hello Beautiful Bear) recently posted…Films to watch whilst you’re waiting for your baby to arrive…My Profile

    • Amy

      Written on 16th July 2015

      Reply

      Ahh time is so precious isn’t it? I always feel awful when I have those days when I feel I haven’t made the most of the children, if you know what I mean? I too wish time would stand still xx

  • zoe dunn

    Written on 15th July 2015

    Reply

    Oh its so true. My 2 boys are 8 and 9 and they need me less and less. At first I really pushed for this for their independence and now I’m trying desperately to claw it back much to their disgust. Lucky for all out sanity surprise number 3 came along so that’s taken the edge off a bit. #brilliantblogposts
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    • Amy

      Written on 16th July 2015

      Reply

      It really is isn’t it? I know what you mean about feeling differently when they are little too; I used to wish for them to be a bit older so they would sleep through or God forbid older still and go to school and now I miss those days so very much. Our littlest has definitely taken the edge off like yours, or I might just be stalking the two teenagers! x

  • Amanda

    Written on 16th July 2015

    Reply

    Oh this hit me in all the feels, those quotes sum it up perfectly.
    They really do grow up too fast, my boys are only six and already I’m missing the way our relationship was.
    This parenting malarkey is such an emotional roller coaster, the pride of seeing them grow in to extraordinary young adults competes with the bittersweet knowledge they really are no longer your little shadows who’d follow you everywhere.
    I’m now off to weep into their baby blankets *sniff sniff*
    Amanda recently posted…How Does Your Garden GrowMy Profile

    • Amy

      Written on 16th July 2015

      Reply

      Oh tell me about it Amanda, it is so frightening! Well, don’t make the blanket all soggy will you? I’ll be doing the same…x

  • Helen | Wonderfully Average

    Written on 17th July 2015

    Reply

    Oh this is so beautiful. It’s something I think about a lot- whenever I’m having a bad day or he’s being really clingy, I just think how much I’ll miss it when he’s bigger and doesn’t need me so much. He’s only 15 months: we still have so many exciting times ahead, so many childhood memories still to make, I will try to enjoy it all- even the bad days. Thank you for the lovely post #brilliantblogposts xx
    Helen | Wonderfully Average recently posted…How I gently helped my baby learn to self-settle (well nearly)My Profile

    • Amy

      Written on 18th July 2015

      Reply

      Thank you for reading Helen, I really appreciate it. It’s so odd thinking about the future when you have a little one but time doesn’t half fly it’s lovely you are making the most of every minute xx

  • teacuptoria

    Written on 17th July 2015

    Reply

    I am dreading this chapter Amy. My boy is my world…what am I going to do when he doesn’t want to hang out with me anymore? To be honest, it’s already started..I get dropped like a hot potato when one of his friends calls round! I know that’s how it should be but as you say, it doesn’t make it any easier for us mums. I am soaking it all up, every single minute. xx
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    • Amy

      Written on 18th July 2015

      Reply

      It is pretty awful huni but as you say it is as it should be and we would be worried if it were any other way. Still hard though xx

    • Amy

      Written on 19th July 2015

      Reply

      The moped thing is absolutely dreadful Vikki I can’t bear the thought of it :( x

  • Katie / Pouting In Heels

    Written on 21st July 2015

    Reply

    Well my darling, I’m so glad I didn’t read this yesterday on Elsie’s birthday, as I would have been even more of an emotional wreck than I was!

    Such a beautiful post that made me teary eyed. You really do have a lovely way with words. Elsie has only just turned three and I still look at her with utter disbelief that she is three already and no longer my ‘baby’ even though she always will be and they always are of course.

    Parenting is so bitter sweet, I’ve never known anything to make me feel as happy, emotional, distraught or panicked. It’s like it shows you the very best and the very worst of the world in one fail swoop.

    But the thing is my love, with a mum like you, they’re never ever gonna go far wrong. XXX
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  • Rachel @ tenminutesspare

    Written on 21st July 2015

    Reply

    Such a beautiful post. My littl girl has just turned 3 and the time has just flown by. Every day I love to see her growing confidence and independence. I can only imagine how quickly the next few years will pass. Whilst I’m excited to see her develop into her own person, of course I appreciate and will undoubtedly miss these early days of motherhood. X
    Rachel @ tenminutesspare recently posted…How to be healthy?My Profile

  • Emma Jones

    Written on 22nd July 2015

    Reply

    So I’ve just about regained my composure after being an emotional wreck when my ‘baby’ left primary school last week, then I read this! You have so beautifully summed up exactly how I feel. My boys are aged 15 and 11 and I wish I could just rewind and do it all again, they’re growing up too fast! Xx

  • Emma's Mamma

    Written on 22nd July 2015

    Reply

    Aw this is beautiful. I can imagine how heartbreaking it must be and at the same time how proud of them you must be. Thanks for sharing x
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  • HonestMum

    Written on 23rd July 2015

    Reply

    A beautiful post darling, it really is scary how quickly kids grow up, I was looking at Oliver today in all his long legged 5 year old glory and felt a little sad! Still with a cherubic face but so tall now, I instantly imagined him as a teenager. It brought tears to my eyes, because it really was only yesterday he was a babe in my arms. I love when we cuddle together in his bed before he sleeps, he holds onto me like he did when he was small, pinching at my neck (his thing) and it takes me right back. Your children are a testament to your parenting and deep love. This is was lovely. Thanks for linking up x
    HonestMum recently posted…A Shoot in Jamaica with heidi kleinMy Profile

  • Natalie Ray

    Written on 5th August 2015

    Reply

    Ah bless, what a lovely post. I have to be honest I’m dreading this time already. Much as I’m looking forward to having a little more time to myself when they go to school I’m going to miss them so much. The fact that you drove down the motorway following the minibus did make me laugh though! And I think it would destroy his streetkred on his moped if you were pottering after him in your family car!xx
    Natalie Ray recently posted…Ten Free Summer Holiday ActivitiesMy Profile

  • A Cornish Mum

    Written on 6th August 2015

    Reply

    They grow up way too quickly or my liking! My boys are 9 and 11 and both only a couple of years at most from being taller than shorty me…I have a mix of feeling sad they aren’t small and cuddled up on my lap all the time any more, and feeling proud of the glimpses of the men I can see them becoming as they get older!

    Stevie x
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  • Natalie / @diaryofuem

    Written on 10th August 2015

    Reply

    I’m dreading Oliver growing up so much that I refuse to even think about nursery!! I remember them talking about this on This Morning one day and Philip Schofield saying his kids still ‘fit’ in under his neck when they snuggle in. I’m trying to think about that part as opposed to the fact that he is growing so big I soon won’t fit in his bed to give him cuddles (maybe I’ll just buy a bigger bed)
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  • Katie

    Written on 20th December 2015

    Reply

    Mine is only (nearly) 6 months old but I am not quite sure what just happened to those 6 months. I swear we only came home from hospital yesterday. Lovely post xx

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