Self-doubt and dealing with disappointment

Amy Treasure Photography

I wrote this last year but it may be helpful to anyone feeling down about not being nominated/shortlisted this blog award season. I wasn’t nominated last year despite being a blogger for three years at that time (just over two years on Mr & Mrs T Plus 3 ) turns out a lot can happen in a year…the more you integrate yourself in the blogging community, the better known you become, the more your readership grows, the more likely you are to be shortlisted.

I’ve been really lucky to end up on two shortlists this year: one is for ‘Best Blog’ in The Regional Awards, South West the other is in the ‘Beauty and Fashion’ category for the BiBs 2016. I feel so grateful to everyone that nominated be and I am so excited about it. Yes, I would love to say I am an award winning blogger but I am also in a place where I don’t *need* one.

If you haven’t made the list this year, it doesn’t mean you won’t in the future and it really has no bearing on whether your blog is good or bad. We all work tremendously hard on our blogs and it is a hard industry to be at the top of your blogging game, so don’t feel despondent if it hasn’t happened for you yet. Just keep writing away, use your unique voice, create amazing content and build your readership the recognition will come in time. Promise!

On with the post…

Blogger-Amy Treasure

(Written May 2015)

Earlier this year I took a risk. I put myself out there and asked for votes in the ‘Fresh Voice’ category for the BiBS awards-you know that awards ceremony at BritMums Live that acknowledges and rewards bloggers for all their hard work? Let’s just call it the Blog Oscars or ‘Bloscars’!

I did manage a few votes because some of you wrote about me in your blog posts telling people who you voted for and that seriously blew me away. You left left me messages and tweeted me telling me you had voted. Thank you, you gorgeous bunch I am so flattered and honoured that you chose to vote for me.

I even had an email from a reader who said although she wasn’t sure what these awards were all about she had voted for me because my post ‘A letter to my teenage self’ had really touched her and she thought I deserved it. I honestly can’t tell you what that email meant to me.

I allowed myself to think that I might, just might get shortlisted, perhaps even if I didn’t have the thousands of votes some of the others had, I could get that judges vote and go through on merit.

I waited up on the evening before the shortlist was announced to check the BritMums site as soon as the clock struck 12 and when it wasn’t announced until the following day mid morning. I sat and refreshed my Twitter feed every few minutes, getting myself more and more wound up as tweets came out saying ‘are you ready?’ ‘do you want to find out who is on the shortlist?’

Yes, yes I’m ready just announce it before I die of a heart attack right here on this very spot at my dining room table with my bloody iPhone in one hand…

And then the tweet I’d been waiting for popped up on my screen.

‘Click here to see this year’s shortlist’

So I did.

I searched the list for Mr and Mrs T Plus Three, but it wasn’t there.

Alas your votes and my votes (yes I voted on every conceivable device in the house!) were not enough.

And I cried my eyes out. Like the big baby that I am.

I felt so utterly deflated it’s hard to explain. I felt as though all those hours I have poured into my blog meant nothing. All those times I’ve stayed up until 2am in the morning writing away, changing my theme, my layout, defining my corner of the internet. All the hours I’d spent editing posts and photographs, promoting my blog were wasted hours.

I felt that I was not good enough and was so bitterly disappointed with myself.

Then I phoned Mr T and cried down the phone to him and he gave me a bit of a pep talk. So I started to feel better.

I realised something and it dawned on me that even though being shortlisted and potentially winning would have been an amazing achievement…

I don’t need an award to validate my blog or my worth.

I was overwhelmed with the amount of messages I received saying you were amazed and shocked I wasn’t nominated, thank you that meant the world to me and made the disappointment easier to bear. Let’s face it though there is pretty stiff competition. There are a lot of incredible fresh voices out there. I promise to not trip you up on your way to collect your award (just kidding!)

I am so very grateful for all the support I have received since starting this blog, for every single comment, for every time you share one of my posts, recreate one of my recipes or tell me something I have written has resonated with you and helped in some way.

Most of all I am grateful that you are here reading this today because that means that in some way I am doing something right.

That is why I do this, that is why I write.

Not for an award.

(but seriously, vote for me next year I still really want one)

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Comments

  • Leigh - Headspace Perspective

    Written on 17th May 2015

    Reply

    Hey Amy, I’m so sorry you weren’t shortlisted. You certainly deserved to be: you write beautifully, and clearly work very hard on making hour corner of the Internet the best it can be. So many people admire you and your blog, and there is no better affirmation than a reader getting in touch to say your writing has touched them. Your post is refreshingly honest – looking forward to a big hug and glass (es) of wine at BML xxxx
    Leigh – Headspace Perspective recently posted…Friday Favourite – Me!My Profile

    • Amy

      Written on 18th May 2015

      Reply

      Thank you so much lovely leigh. Can not wait to meet you finally and share a toast with you, you gorgeous girl! Thanks for always saying the right thing xxxx

  • Ninja cat

    Written on 17th May 2015

    Reply

    You know I’ve never won an award
    Does it make me any less
    No
    Did I have self doubt yes
    At the end of the day awards aren’t everything x
    Ninja cat recently posted…I am a seekerMy Profile

    • Amy

      Written on 18th May 2015

      Reply

      I am surprised to hear that and it actually makes me feel much better, thank you Claire! x

  • Laura's Lovely Blog

    Written on 17th May 2015

    Reply

    Aww I really wanted a nomination too, no luck either so I completely understand where you’re coming from. I would have voted for your blog too if it had been shortlisted because I love your writing. But you’re right just because you didn’t get shortlisted doesn’t mean your blog isn’t awesome x
    Laura’s Lovely Blog recently posted…The A to Z of MeMy Profile

    • Amy

      Written on 18th May 2015

      Reply

      That is really kind of you Laura thank you so very much. I’m sorry you didn’t get shortlisted either :( hopefully we’ll have better luck next time xx

  • katy (what katy said

    Written on 17th May 2015

    Reply

    Ah Amy, so brave to write it all down like this. You know I was right there with you being a big old baby but we are going to have a fab time at Britmums and you never know what next year will bring. xxxxxx
    katy (what katy said recently posted…Shoes To Make You HappyMy Profile

    • Amy

      Written on 18th May 2015

      Reply

      Thank you lovely Katy, hehe we lamented together didn’t we! Well we both have our big girl pants on now and hopefully we’ll both be up next year! See you soon lovely lady, not long to go until BM hooray! xxxxx

  • Brighton Mama @ Our Seaside Baby

    Written on 17th May 2015

    Reply

    Hi Amy, I also put myself out there for the fresh voice category, but I haven’t been blogging long so didn’t expect too much. When I saw other bloggers who were also asking for votes I was amazed that there were so many wonderful blogs who hadn’t been around for that long at all! I had a shortlist in my head of the amazing newbie bloggers that I read and was absolutely certain 3 or 4 would be shortlisted, yours included! But when the list came out none were in the shortlist and I was/still am confused! I tweeted my disappointment at the time. But since then I’ve decided to take it all with a pinch of salt – maybe the panel of judges just weren’t aware of your blog? Or maybe other bloggers asked every single family/friend to nominate them? Who knows. For me not being shortlisted actually took the pressure off a lot. I’m sure you’ll win an award in the future though. But let’s just enjoy the ride until then :) See you at Britmumslive! Polly xx
    Brighton Mama @ Our Seaside Baby recently posted…Silent SundayMy Profile

    • Amy

      Written on 18th May 2015

      Reply

      Hey Polly, thanks so much for your comment. I’m sorry you didn’t get shortlisted either. I am like you and was certain I would see a few names but only saw one who I thought would be shortlisted (Running in Lavender, go Heledd!!) but as you say it does take the pressure off, I would be a nervous wreck and as I keep saying to everyone, we can get pissed without worrying we will fall over on the way to the podium. Every cloud? See you at BM xx

  • Heledd - Running in Lavender

    Written on 18th May 2015

    Reply

    Amy, you already know (because I’ve told you a few times) that I thought you were going to run away with this award – so I’m still totally gob smacked that you didn’t make the list. Having said that I’m now think that you’re going to be a big contender in next year’s vlogging category. You go girl!!! xx
    Heledd – Running in Lavender recently posted…Sisters in May – The Siblings ProjectMy Profile

    • Amy

      Written on 18th May 2015

      Reply

      Ahhh Heledd you are so lovely, thank you so much. I really am rooting for you! And wo hoo vlogging category next year here I come. Thanks gorgeous xx
      Amy recently posted…Swing highMy Profile

  • Suzanne

    Written on 18th May 2015

    Reply

    Oh I can totally understand your disappointment. If you think about it though, there are hundreds and hundreds of new blogs starting up every day in the UK. It’s probably one of the hardest categories to get noticed in because you’re all….new! You’ve obviously made a very clear mark in the blogging world, I’m sure you’ll be in those awards in years to come :)
    Suzanne recently posted…Flip Flops Are A Go Go! / Review & GiveawayMy Profile

    • Amy

      Written on 18th May 2015

      Reply

      Thank you so much Suzanne, you are right the competition is very stiff. Hopefully I’ll be around fro next years awards! Thanks xx

  • You Baby Me Mummy

    Written on 18th May 2015

    Reply

    You know you deserve it darling. I think they are bonkers not to shortlist you. Your writing, your photos, everything about your blog is perfect, not least you lovely lady xxxx
    You Baby Me Mummy recently posted…Overcoming a FearMy Profile

  • Natalie / UEM

    Written on 18th May 2015

    Reply

    Maybe people thought your blog was too established? You have done amazingly well in such a short time. You must be really dedicated to it and it shows. everything about it is fab and I’ve no doubt you are gonna do very well in this blogging world! There will be bigger and better awards in your future I’m sure! Xx
    Natalie / UEM recently posted…The Worst Part of Having Kids…My Profile

  • Toni @ Gym Bunny Mummy

    Written on 19th May 2015

    Reply

    Love this! Not because you didn’t get shortlisted but because of your honesty about the disappointment. I go through stages of self doubt all the time, my blogs not good enough, stats not high enough etc but I am proud of what I’ve achieved & I have to remember how far I’ve come in the last six months. Your blog is amazing & you WILL get the award you deserve one day x
    Toni @ Gym Bunny Mummy recently posted…Archie’s Autism Journey #5 – A Speech Therapy UpdateMy Profile

    • Amy

      Written on 19th May 2015

      Reply

      Thank you so much Toni that is so kind of you to say. I do wear my heart on my sleeve and it is hard not feeling good enough at times. xx

  • Mummy Tries

    Written on 20th May 2015

    Reply

    Oh darling such beautiful words as always! I’d be lying to say that I didn’t feel exactly the same at the time. Exactly as you said I allowed myself to get caught up in the hype, and it was ever so disappointing wasn’t it. Glad you turned it all around though and you’re feeling ok about it now. Your blog is awesome, really loving it xxx
    Mummy Tries recently posted…Why I Put My Life OnlineMy Profile

    • Amy

      Written on 20th May 2015

      Reply

      Thank you Renee I was actually shocked you didn’t get shortlisted. Love your blog. You are lovely, thank you xxx

  • Tara

    Written on 20th May 2015

    Reply

    Ah Amy, I’ve been around the parenting blogging community a long long time now.
    I saw all the charts start, the awards when they were created, the tears, the why not mes, the doubt, etc etc. It’s been going on for years; it ebbs and flows!
    I’ve won awards and then I chose to completely step away and ignore awards.
    Here’s two things I know; if you write well and from the heart your readers will stick around whether you win anything or not.
    Winning an award doesn’t change who you are. It doesn’t make you better nor is it a reflection on you if you don’t win one.

    Wishing you all the very best x
    Tara recently posted…The Photo Gallery 231: LandscapeMy Profile

    • Amy

      Written on 20th May 2015

      Reply

      Thank you so very much Tara I really was a bit devastated I put so much in- as I do trying to move up that bloody tots chart! It’s hard! Thank you I really mean that-means a lot, truly xx

  • Katie / Pouting In Heels

    Written on 20th May 2015

    Reply

    I absolutely love your blog Amy, personally I think you’re one of the best new bloggers, indeed one of the best writers, I’ve come across in a long time and I say that in all seriousness.

    All this award stuff is so frustrating at times. Often the people who deserve to be shortlisted, don’t. Often the people who deserve to win, don’t. Just like life I guess. So many people deserve to have their hard work and talent acknowledged, but as I said to Hannah ages ago you have to look past awards and stats and tables and look at your readers! Look at their comments, look at your engagement and also, look at your work! This is all that truly matters.

    So I know you’re gutted and it’s only natural to feel that way of course,but my goodness me, don’t ever for one minute doubt your skills or ability. Please?

    As Tara said so perfectly above (What a comment!) in the grand scheme of things (awards – as wonderful as they can be), are really not important. Just be you, just do your best and amazing things will happen (whether they include an award or not). XXX

    p.s I will be reminding myself of this on Friday ;-) x
    Katie / Pouting In Heels recently posted…Meet the brilliant ‘So Just Shop’ (and win gorgeous jewellery!)My Profile

  • Mark Richards

    Written on 20th May 2015

    Reply

    First things first. You have a lot of comments: that’s really good and means people are engaging with your blog. Secondly, don’t beat yourself up over awards: if you produce the best blog you can, if people like it and say so then a) that’s brilliant and b) awards will come. But don’t ever worry about a specific award as you’re always vulnerable to someone with a gazillion friends on FB or to a special-interest blog.
    If someone says to me – ‘thank you: that really made me smile’ or ‘you put into words what I couldn’t say’ then that means the world to me – it means you’re really connecting with people and in the long run that’s worth more than an award.
    Lastly, I’ve been writing about my kids for 12 years: my youngest was 4 when I started and right now he’s doing his GCSEs. So just keep writing, because you are leaving your children an absolutely priceless record of their childhood: apart from your love, the most precious gift you can give them.

    • Amy

      Written on 8th June 2015

      Reply

      You couldn’t be more right there Mark, I am over it now but at the time it sucked big time! Thanks for helping me put things into perspective :)

  • Hayley - Downs Side Up

    Written on 20th May 2015

    Reply

    I’ve just written on this very subject, well the self-doubt and how wards become the be all and end all and really it’s not about that, but we get sucked in. Thank you for writing with such honesty. See you there (ps, I nearly didn’t go because I feel too old).
    Hayley – Downs Side Up recently posted…Why I’m Going to Britmums LiveMy Profile

  • Caro | The Twinkles Mama

    Written on 20th May 2015

    Reply

    Oh chick I’m so sad that you feel like this. Although I am really surprised not to see your blog on that shortlist.

    I didn’t even put myself up for the BiBs because I was frightened to, but I have found myself nominated for the MADS and am full of nerves about it!!

    At the moment I feel so far under the radar, I would be amazed to make that shortlist. At the moment I’m quite happy just plodding along in my own little way.

    If, in the future, I managed to get on one of those shortlists, it will be amazing. But I’m absolutely certain that you will be there before too long!
    Caro | The Twinkles Mama recently posted…Home Etc #1 — Home and Garden Inspired Blog HopMy Profile

    • Amy

      Written on 20th May 2015

      Reply

      Thank you so much lovely. In a way I kind of wish I hadn’t because then I wouldn’t have got so sucked into it! I’ve been nominated for a MADS and haven’t a clue who has nominated me as it wasn’t me! Wishing you best of luck and we will def get there in the end but from what everyone has said it really reinforces it isn’t the be all and and all x

    • Amy

      Written on 22nd May 2015

      Reply

      Debbie thank you this comment made my day. Really kind of you to say that xx

  • Sam

    Written on 21st May 2015

    Reply

    Hi Amy – I’m not sure why I haven’t visited your blog – just had a quick look around and it is fab and you are clearly well known in my blogging circles! I have to admit that I felt a bit similar a year ago but I’m rubbish at self promotion and then things changed this year and I was unable to blog as much as before so I stopped caring (mostly) about nominations but I understand that feeling of utter disappointment and frustration. I think maybe it’s like the Booker Prize, if you keep at it long enough you’ll be in one year through a combination of talent and just being a well know face! Congratulations on getting nominations – that is definitely special in itself X #brilliantblogposts
    Sam recently posted…If…My Profile

    • Amy

      Written on 22nd May 2015

      Reply

      Thank you so much for your lovely encouraging words Sam-means a lot, truly. Brilliant Booker Prize analogy,I like that a lot! Lovely to see you here xx

  • Fionnuala

    Written on 21st May 2015

    Reply

    #brilliantblogposts
    Better luck next year Amy. It is no use dwelling on it. I’m glad it didnt discourage you. Always remember why you started the blog in the first place and that should keep you going :)
    Fionnuala
    Fionnuala recently posted…Hello Cinderella (My Vlogging Premier)My Profile

    • Amy

      Written on 22nd May 2015

      Reply

      Thank you lovely and yes you are spot on. I have had time to reflect and the whole reason I started this was to record memories and a place to write, which I have done and I’m proud of that. Thank you xx

  • HonestMum

    Written on 21st May 2015

    Reply

    I 100% agree with all the comments here, you deserved to be shortlisted but awards and noms are not a reflection of worth or talent, something you are overflowing with. All that matters is you love what you do and blog about what makes you happy. I write firstly for me and my family, even with sponsored posts, (without them I can’t earn a living) but readers keep coming back for bloggers’ unique individual voices, their take on things and your blog rocks. Keep shining brightly gorgeous x
    HonestMum recently posted…A Long Weekend at the Cannes Film FestivalMy Profile

    • Amy

      Written on 22nd May 2015

      Reply

      Oh Vicki your support means the world, thank you so very much. You better get to the finals!! xx

  • Morgan Prince

    Written on 22nd May 2015

    Reply

    I’m sorry you didn’t get nominated Amy. There are so many brilliant blogs out there I guess there’s always going to be disappointment in some little corner of the internet.

    I think you write beautifully and I hope you get nominated next year. Keep writing, keep doing what you’re doing and it’ll happen. xx
    Morgan Prince recently posted…Magic Jeans!My Profile

  • Susan

    Written on 23rd May 2015

    Reply

    I am so glad I found your post tonight. I have been struggling with the obsession of having people read my blog and wonder if they are really enjoying it. I get compliments from time to time and I hit 10K views on my blog and still climbing… However I have under 20 followers. I was devastated. I did the same and went straight to my husband. I feel like, I don’t know what j am doing wrong, yes I too have spent many hours and constructing and deconstructing my layout to make sure it’s perfect. I looked at a lady on my Twitter feed tonight who is very successful with her blog because I thought maybe she has tips, and I found this post….

    I have to say. I am a little humbled sitting here, I got caught up in the how many views and followers can I get when I am writing for me.

    Thank you for that!
    Susan recently posted…Nail Polish Strips, yay or nayMy Profile

    • Amy

      Written on 8th June 2015

      Reply

      Hi Susan, I am so glad it has helped. It is super hard not to get bogged down with numbers but I think most of us blog because we want lots of other people to read it and connect with what we’ve written. There is so much hard work that goes into it isn’t there? You will get there! xx

  • Prolly Mixtures

    Written on 23rd May 2015

    Reply

    You should pat yourself on the back for all your achievements- your blog seems so established for a blog so new on the scene. It’s clear that you put a lot into it. Either was you have more balls than me, I wasn’t even brave enough to ask for nominations even though deep down I would love an award too! You’ll get one soon I’m sure x

    • Amy

      Written on 8th June 2015

      Reply

      Wow that means so much-thank you! I really appreciate you saying that xxx

  • ghostwritermummy

    Written on 29th May 2015

    Reply

    I think every single blogger knows exactly how you felt. I’ve been blogging for 5 years now and every time the awards come around it is the same. At the end of the day the awards are nice, but as you say they do not mean one blog is better than another. You carry on doing what you’re doing because you love it. In a few weeks the awards will be forgotten x x
    ghostwritermummy recently posted…My baby doesn’t sleep and it’s all my faultMy Profile

  • Mrs Tubbs

    Written on 6th May 2016

    Reply

    I don’t think there’s a blogger out there who doesn’t hope when the awards come round that they’ll be on the list. And they’ve all felt what you’ve felt when they weren’t. Doesn’t mean much, apart from the fact that lady fortune smiled on someone else this year. There’s always next year! Good luck in 2017
    Mrs Tubbs recently posted…Most Treasured PossessionsMy Profile

    • Amy Treasure

      Written on 6th May 2016

      Reply

      Ah thanks so much Mrs Tubbs! This is an old post, hence the edit at the beginning to say I am nominated twice this year, Bibs and regionals. I totally get people’s disappointment though, and so hopefully someone will read this and take away from it that it doesn’t really matter, a lot of it is down to luck and how well known you are, as you say. Thanks so much for reading and commenting x

  • Katy (What Katy Said)

    Written on 18th May 2016

    Reply

    Do you know, I was just scrolling down your homepage to find the taco post (we are having them today!!) and I saw this. I’ve been so down the last week or so, not because of the awards etc.. but just because I feel a little lost in the sea of bloggers out there. It isn’t surprising as I have hidden myself away the last few months, or even longer, being pregnant and just a little bit fed up of all the self promotion I had to do to ‘keep it up’. But reading this has made me feel better, it truly has. I don’t write to be popular in the blogging community but at the same time I do see I need to stand up and be counted. Need to seriously work on commenting on other blogs more – including yours my lovely as you are one of my faves!! xx
    Katy (What Katy Said) recently posted…I’m going to #BML16My Profile

    • Amy Treasure

      Written on 18th May 2016

      Reply

      Oh Katy! Ditto, seriously. It is hard keeping up with it, I go through regular phases of thinking sod it, and keeping up with it all is weighing quite heavily on me at the moment-I know I need to keep my hand in as it were, but my home life really does suffer a lot of the time because I am working all the bloody time…I do think the longer you do it, the easier it becomes in a way, because you have the work and contracts and don’t feel the need to constantly measure up, although I am not sure I will ever really get to a place where I never feel the need to do that. And yes to the comments on other blogs, I am the absolute worst for that but you have been on my favs since day dot! Much love xxx ps enjoy the tacos, yum!

  • Janet T

    Written on 21st May 2016

    Reply

    Oh my goodness I felt a bit emotional reading that! I hate seeking validation ‘cos I don’t have high hopes of getting any, that’s part of the blogging world that worries me a bit. I’m new to this so reading how you’ve dealt with self-worth is encouraging, and a great reality check. You do great! Love your blog x
    Janet T recently posted…Ouch to 5km – Part 2My Profile

    • Amy Treasure

      Written on 22nd May 2016

      Reply

      Thank you Janet! Thing is ultimately we ALL do it, but I think you need to really rein it in because seeking approval, validation whatever it is can be quite damaging and completely counter-productive. If you are getting what you want from your blog, and you are focussed on where you want to go then it really shouldn’t be a case of seeking approval from anyone, other than yourself. I know it’s hard though. Thanks for reading and your lovely comment, I appreciate it x

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