What do you wish you had known as a teenager?

Sitting in a field full of lavender

As you know I have two teenage children. Lewis is 16 and Holly 15. I’m not going to lie parenting teens is hard work. I constantly worry that I’m being too strict, not being strict enough, giving bad advice not intervening with advice. Nagging, not nagging. You see where I’m going with this? It’s a total contradiction and while I think I know the ‘right’ answers to give they’re not always the best answers. If that makes any sense.

What I do know is that being a teenager is like living in a mixed up world, a world where you are being told you have to choose a direction or make a decision, but you are unsure of which direction to take or what your decision will be. Of course, as adults we know that life very seldom turns out exactly the way we planned it and will often go the complete opposite way, but that’s cool, that’s life and sometimes these things just happen.

I think the best piece of advice I can give to my kids is this: don’t spend your days worrying, enjoy being young and free. Learn well but understand that life’s biggest lessons are not learnt in the classroom. Be kind, thoughtful and considerate to others and above all else love and listen to your mother!

I quite often reflect on my teen years and wonder what I would tell myself if I could go back. Would it have made any difference and would I have even listened to the older version of me?

I asked on my facebook page what advice you would give to your teenage selves and this is what you had to say:

”Oh goodness, so much. Stop thinking you know it all and can plan your life out ahead of you mainly. And to learn to be flexible and bend in the winds of change pretty quickly, as that’s the only way to survive. Also, appreciate being able to be spontaneous as it’s harder when you have children. Oh, and savour every single lie in”-Hayley, Downs Side Up

”Be true to yourself and honest in all situations no matter how difficult. Make decisions based upon what YOU want, not what others want for you”-Al, The Dad Network

“Firstly I would talk to myself as if I were a friend, an encourager, a person who is there for the teenage me in a really positive way. I would say don’t worry dear heart, about how it will turn out. (I worried as a teenager that I wouldn’t find someone to marry and have a family with.) I would say don’t feel guilty about feeling let down but also don’t hold onto disappointment or bad friendships. I would say to go with my gut instinct with boyfriends and to never demean or demote myself for others sake. Gosh, I would say so much to myself! Mostly to have confidence in who I am”-Lizzie, Lizzie Somerset

“Although you have no clarity right now, very soon you will start to see things clearly. You’ll come to realise what you need to do to turn it all around. The keepers in your life will forgive you, and eventually you will forgive yourself”-Renee, Mummy Tries

“Trust your Mum. She was actually right about everything”-Martyn, Inside Martyn’s Thoughts

“Be confident and stop comparing yourself to your friends. Also don’t let anyone treat you like a doormat, friends or otherwise because you are not one. Finally, trust that your parents only want what’s best for you, they aren’t trying to ruin your life!”-Francesca 

“Love yourself, know your worth and don’t let anyone ever make you forget it!”-Katie, Pouting in Heels

“You are enough the way you are, don’t be afraid to be yourself, some people aren’t worth the time or trouble”-Leigh, Headspace Perspective

“Trust your self-worth and don’t let anyone make you feel worthless; parents, peers, or teachers. Believe in yourself”-Ally, Messed Up Mum

“Don’t listen to your Mum and get your eyebrows waxed! Haha, seriously, I’d tell myself not to be too hard on myself and that everything would work out so not stress”-Vicki, Honest Mum

“Wear that short short skirt, it looks great on you, and you’ll look back and regret not wearing it more often (while you could get away with it). Kiss the boy you’re crushing on, he might just like it and you’ll never regret the boys you kissed… only those you didn’t. So my alternate advice to my teenage self is to have as much fun as you can, don’t take life too seriously, and appreciate the moments because they slip by faster than you think!”-Uju, Babes About Town

“Don’t be afraid to make mistakes – it’s how you’ll learn what does or doesn’t work for you. There’s nothing wrong with changing your plans and coming up with something new”-Izzie, World According to Izzie

“Don’t be in a hurry with things, there is plenty of time in life”-Andrea, Andrea Louise

“You are not fat. You will look back in years to come and wish you were that ‘fat’ again!”-Hannah, Hannah Spannah Coco Banana

“You’re not a special snowflake, and trust me, you don’t want to be. Common ground and humanity are so much more important than snobbery. Also, dad is never going to even acknowledge his shit, so I’d give up as soon as possible if I were you. It’s not worth the internal turmoil”-Lix, Lix Hewett

“Really? Is he worth any of your tears? I think not. I’d also tell my 20-year-old self that incidentally”-Vanessa

“Enjoy life! It gets trickier when you’re an adult”-Melanie, Le Coin De Mel

“You are worth more than you think, hold out for the right one”-Aby, You Baby Me Mummy

“Do as much crazy shit now while you can still get away with it!”-Natalie, Diary of an Unexpectant Mother

“Treasure those around you. not there forever and takes lots of photos”-My Aunty Tracey 

“I guess I’d just say, take heart and know that if you stick with God everything will work out alright in the end. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel for the heart that holds on, so hold on to hope, because it won’t let you down”-Alexandra, I’m Every Mum

“Stick in at school. Work hard. Cause although it’s a pain in the bum right now, it’ll be worth it when you are older and have ££s to go shopping and partying with”-Laura

“Don’t be so serious. Life is there to enjoy. It’s a winding path and be prepared to make many detours. Believe in yourself”-Sarah

“Be yourself, avoid bullies and remember your life will b so much better hen you are older”-Victoria, My Little L

“Do not start smoking and dump that idiot you think you love!”-Alica

 “I would be telling myself to realise you are beautiful no matter if you look different and make up won’t change that”-Tammy, Us Two Plus You

What a wonderful response, thanks so much to everyone for getting involved and giving over your beautiful words of wisdom, I am sure they will be comforting to those that need them and your thoughts have also been immensely helpful to me, as a mum to teenage children.

Over to you readers, let me know in the comments what advice you would give to your teenage self…

The List

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Comments

  • Hannah Parker / Mums' Days

    Written on 20th November 2015

    Reply

    Wow, what a great response, Amy! Such pearls of wisdom too – I’m not sure what I would say to myself, especially since I still feel like a teenager…any advice I’d give would still be applicable today!! But enjoy your lie ins would definitely be on there ;) Thanks for linking up xx #TheList

  • Ana De- Jesus

    Written on 20th November 2015

    Reply

    I wish I had known how to cope with making mistakes or not achieving my goals. I have always been a perfectionist and worked incredibly hard all my life that I need to tell myself that it is ok to take a backseat when things are getting too hard.

  • Joanna

    Written on 20th November 2015

    Reply

    I wish I had known that I didn’t have to decide my future in regards to career right then and that some people never do.

  • Honest Mum

    Written on 20th November 2015

    Reply

    Love this, so many wise words here-an inspiring post for young girls, and a great reminder for women, everywhere x

  • Katie / Pouting In Heels

    Written on 20th November 2015

    Reply

    Lovely post Amy! Such wisdom from people who’ve been there and done that. Although, blimey the gift of hindsight hey?! I wouldn’t go back to being a teenager for a million pounds. I’m sure this will inspire lots of young women and girls. x

  • Louisa

    Written on 20th November 2015

    Reply

    You got some great responses. I would tell myself to be more confident and to wear what I wanted and to stop investing so much time in boys who were playing a game. My eldest is now a teen and I have 2 more fast approaching, it’s a scary time for us, because we know all the pitfalls and can only hope they follow our advice #thelist

  • Jodie Allen

    Written on 20th November 2015

    Reply

    I totally agree with Hayley on this. I wish I had appreciated being able to be spontaneous. Life with no responsibility or obligation seems like a very distant memory now! I’d tell myself to enjoy every second of being able to do anything my heart desires :) #TheList

  • You Baby Me Mummy

    Written on 20th November 2015

    Reply

    Love Alicia’s! Thanks for including me in this awesome post huni. I could definitely learn from some of these, even now! xxx

  • Angela at daysinbed

    Written on 20th November 2015

    Reply

    This is a great post and one that I really enjoyed. The advice and tips are great and ones I agree with too especially on self worth and doing what you want not others!

    Angela

  • Megan - truly madly kids

    Written on 21st November 2015

    Reply

    If you think you can do something, you probably can. DOn’t let the doubters put you off. #thelist

  • Mummy Tries

    Written on 21st November 2015

    Reply

    Absolutely loved reading this post hon, and thank you so much for including me. If only we could travel back in time, we’d all be so much wiser wouldn’t we :) Lets just hope your teens listen to the good advice from their mama xxx

  • Babes about Town

    Written on 22nd November 2015

    Reply

    This is a fab post Amy! Love these nuggets and I’m stunned by my own wisdom hehe ;) Seriously some great advice here even for those of us well beyond our teenage years. Thanks for including me x

  • Hannah Atkinson

    Written on 24th November 2015

    Reply

    I love this post and so much of the advice is still relevant to me as a 36 year old! Thank you for including me in this.

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