What happens when your teenage daughter tells you she has a boyfriend..

Teenage girl first boyfriend

I knew this day would come. Of course I knew. I was a teenage girl myself once not that long ago. I know what happens, I know how it works.

Holly had been chatting about ‘the boy’ for a while now. That’s what you do when you really like someone isn’t? You find any excuse to mention them even though you don’t know you’re doing it. But this wasn’t my friend who likes a guy, it was my daughter, my baby and this is dangerous territory.

So she comes home from school and casually drops it into our ‘how’s your day gone’ conversation. The  conversation we have every day. Except this isn’t about the funny thing that happened in maths or that she sang a solo in the choir. This is about a boy, ‘the boy’ the one she likes and I can tell she’s smitten.

‘Please don’t have sex’ I blurt out. Completely by accident and regretting what I’ve said immediately. I couldn’t help it. This is the only thing I’m thinking. Oh my God this is my baby. It wasn’t that long ago that she pressed her warm little body up against mine at night and smoothed my hair as she slept.

She thought only about her dolls and The Tweenies back then. Now her head is filled with BOY STUFF and she’s constantly on her phone snap chatting with ‘the boy’ and I’m so scared because she’s not my baby anymore even though she’ll always be my baby.

‘MUUUM don’t be gross, just because I have a boyfriend doesn’t mean we’re going to do THAT urgh!’

I think about what I’ve said and I apologise. Then I think some more. I tell her that actually I’m not sorry I said it. I might be over the top but I need to be able to say this.

I have to approach the subject carefully, I’ve never wanted my older children to feel they were not wanted. Not planned obviously, but definitely wanted. They understand though, that you can’t just go round having babies when you’re a teenager and expecting everything to turn out ok. I got lucky, but well, let’s face it no one really imagines that for their children do they? I’ve always told them they have their whole lives ahead of them and the world is their oyster to do with whatever they wish, to fulfil their ambitions and dreams.

Dream big I tell them.

It’s not just the baby thing either. She has to be safe. All of our young people need to know these things and I want my children to have all the facts. I never want them to think that they can’t talk to me about sex or relationships. I insist we are all to be open and honest with one another. This has been my goal and it’s so important to me. More so now than ever.

I need her to be sensible. I want her to know that she can tell me anything and I might be cross but I will always, ALWAYS be there for her. No matter what.

I lay down some ground rules;

’The boy’ can come for tea, and you can sit in your bedroom to watch TV but you have to leave the door wide open and put up with me or possibly an errant toddler coming in with no warning whatsoever for absolutely no reason.

You are allowed to go to tea at ‘the boy’s’ house but I will need to check with his parents that they are going to be there. Trust me they won’t think I’m mental.

Don’t give up your friends, you will need them one day if this doesn’t work out believe me.

School work comes first, this means you have to give up your phone/ipad for at least 2 hours every evening. You have your GCSEs next year and you’re going to work your socks off. Or else.

And that was that. The day my almost 15 year old tells me she has a boyfriend, a real one who she like, loves.

This feels momentous like a massive turning point in our lives. I have a friend who thinks I’m being overly dramatic about this. A little bit crazy even. Tells me it’s just a crush and we all had boyfriends when we were at school and it’ll be fine. I know she’s right, in a way. At the same time though I can’t help but feel like something’s changed…

She’s grown from a girl into a young woman, before my eyes but without me seeing. I feel so proud of the person she’s become and sad all at once for the passing of time and the childish innocence that is gone now. It’s so bittersweet watching your children grow.

Please always be my baby Holly, please come and cuddle me and sing into my ear and twiddle my hair. Please climb in bed with me on a Sunday morning and snuggle up to me and ask me for pancakes.

Please remember I love you to the end of the earth and I always will.

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Comments

    • Amy

      Written on 24th March 2015

      Reply

      It’s really scary isn’t it? Thanks hun, it was just the first thought that popped into my head and I had been worrying about it a while if I’m honest x

  • Megan - truly madly kids

    Written on 25th March 2015

    Reply

    Holly is lucky to have you as a Mum – she trusted enough to tell you she HAD a boyfriend and secondly, your rules are over bearing, they are just keeping her safe and it’s lovely you are so welcoming to him.

    This post has made me well up a bit – I am five years behind you with my daughter and already we have the notion that she’s not so little anymore – she doesn’t sit and suck her thumb and ask if it is a Daddy day (a weekend day!).

    Oh, and by the way, she’s gorgeous!

    #sharewithme
    Megan – truly madly kids recently posted…The Saga of giving Pocket MoneyMy Profile

    • Amy

      Written on 25th March 2015

      Reply

      Oh Megan, thank you so much. Your comment really moved me. That means a lot. Make the most of every moment with your daughter she sounds so precious xx

  • Sammy

    Written on 25th March 2015

    Reply

    Ahh bless you – I can feel your worry though; it’s natural I think. I have a tween boy and *touch wood* shows absolutely no interest in girls at this moment in time *phew* but I too know the time will come and I have the opposite side of the fence to deal with – hey ho, all the good fun of being a parent. They will always always be our babies though xxx

    • Amy

      Written on 25th March 2015

      Reply

      You are so right Sammy, it really doesn’t matter how old they get does it. Thanks so much hun xxx

  • helloitsgemma

    Written on 25th March 2015

    Reply

    I think it is those things, that can see relatively small to some people, are the big moments. I remember when my son moved to bunkbeds, it was a much bigger thing for me than when he moved from a cot to a small bed. Suddenly, I appreciated that he’d sleep in this bed until he was a teen and you realise how quickly time leaps forward, they are your babies and you do have to guide them just as you are doing and let them go, as you are doing. Parenting it’s forever throwing curve balls.
    Lovely post.
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    • Amy

      Written on 25th March 2015

      Reply

      This is it exactly! Although nothing has technically happened it just feels so big, you know? Time moves so quickly doesn’t it. Makes me appreciate all the little moments too x

  • Debbie

    Written on 25th March 2015

    Reply

    Hi Amy, this is a bridge I have yet to cross with my 15 year old daughter. We talk about sex, having safe sex and what having sex means (and why there really is no rush, no matter what your hormones are telling you!).

    Luckily my daughter is happiest when her head is buried in a book or she’s writing on WattPad (for now anyway). I actually try and encourage her to get out and about more, but she’s really not worried. I’m sure it won’t be long now though, in September she goes up to her final school before flying the nest, and when she does become infatuated with the boy of her dreams, I really hope she has taken on board everything we have talked about.

    I hear and understand fully where you were coming from when you asked her ”not to have sex”. It is a scarey thought, but a natural thought too.

    #MMWBH
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    • Amy

      Written on 25th March 2015

      Reply

      Oh gosh you are lucky you’re not quite there yet with your daughter. I do wish I could hold onto her girlishness a while longer. Thank you for your words xx

  • Becky | Spirited Puddle Jumper

    Written on 25th March 2015

    Reply

    Oh I can totally see why you worry about something like this! My daughter is only 2 at the moment, but I know it will only be another decade or so and I’ll be in the exact same position. I think it’s good to be involved and to talk about sex and relationships. My Mum is fab, but was very laid back when it came to this subject, and never talked to me about boys at all, when there were times when I really wish I’d had some guidance. #sharewithme
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    • Amy

      Written on 25th March 2015

      Reply

      I never had anyone to talk to and it definitely made things worse for me. It is a major worry of mine, I’m so glad to see it’s not just me and the general consensus here seems to be we all feel the same so that makes me feel much better! Thank you x

      • Elaine

        Written on 6th November 2015

        Reply

        Both my children have grown up and left home. Enjoy your children while they are young but remember they may only hold your hand for a while, but they will hold your heart for ever.

        The happiness and love they give when they are children is multiplied when they become adults I know, I’m living it.

        • Amy Treasure

          Written on 8th November 2015

          Reply

          This is such a nice comment thank you, it’s so nice to hear you have a lovely relationship with your grown up children that is my hope for the future. Thanks for reading.

  • Nomita | Ebabee

    Written on 25th March 2015

    Reply

    Reading this gave me a glimpse in to my future and it scares me. I can’t even imagine my 6 year old daughter as a teenager, let alone talking about boys! But it’s a right of passage and as much as I don’t want my baby to grow too quickly, I know the day will come when we will have to have conversations like these. The only thing we can do is guide and advise and be there for them exactly like you are doing. And it’s great that she came and told you.
    Nomita | Ebabee recently posted…Best tips on how to take photos of moving kidsMy Profile

    • Amy

      Written on 25th March 2015

      Reply

      It is so scary, I know it’s difficult to imagine. I can hardly believe it myself. Thanks so much for reading xx

    • Katie

      Written on 1st March 2016

      Reply

      I am a 15 year old girl, turning 16 this May, and this whole article made me cry…no kidding. The comments as well made me choke up. It’s just the fact that I, as a daughter of my mother and father and as an older sister to two younger brothers, will soon grow up and…I guess be on my own. My second brother is 13, and he grew up so fast :’) Honestly, unlike some other teens, I just tear up with the fact that I will have to explore the world without my parents being there to guide me (standing next to me). I already told my parents that I am not planning on moving out for college XD I adored this, and I do hope some other teens will too.

      • Amy Treasure

        Written on 2nd March 2016

        Reply

        Hi Katie, thank you SO much for your comment. Honestly, the fact you took the time to leave this message here has made me well up! You sound like such a lovely girl and a real credit to your parents they must be so proud of you, my love. I wish you every success in your future and just know that even though at some point you will make your own way in this world your mum and dad will always be there for you, to guide you and love you. Don’t grow up too fast! Thank you for making my day. xx

  • Dean of Little Steps

    Written on 25th March 2015

    Reply

    I think you handled it really well in the end and all your “rules” makes perfectly sense to me :)

    Oh I dread this day. My daughter is only four but this is going to give me nightmares! Okay fine, I’m exaggerating, but I do and honestly really don’t want that day to come. My husband says it won’t come, simply because she’ll be safe in a convent ;)

    #sharewithme.
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  • Suzanne

    Written on 25th March 2015

    Reply

    I don’t think that you’re over the top at all – with an almost 15 year old daughter myself, I think you’re being hugely sensible! I am dreading the day one of my daughters says they have a boyfriend (I have a 13 year old one too) but at least she told you. That’s progress :) She really is very beautiful. Good luck! x x
    Suzanne recently posted…The Big 5 Life LessonsMy Profile

    • Amy

      Written on 25th March 2015

      Reply

      Thank you Suzanne, I needed to hear that :) And thank you she becomes more beautiful by the day xx

    • Amy

      Written on 25th March 2015

      Reply

      Thank you Ali, it’s a really sad time. Exciting for them but a bit awful for us parents x

    • Amy

      Written on 25th March 2015

      Reply

      You have a while left! I know it’s a cliche and you’ve heard it a million times but make the most of her being small xx

  • Nikki Frank-Hamilton

    Written on 25th March 2015

    Reply

    I am in the same boat, my daughter just turned 15 and since then the boys have come out of the woodwork! She is a freshman & the older boys-juniors & seniors- have come to appreciate her loveliness. Scary. I know that she is a great girl, she is a great friend, and thus far she has been smart about her decisions. But I am with you, it is scary. I remember growing up, it was hard! Good luck, wish it back to me please!
    Nikki Frank-Hamilton recently posted…How To Build Your Blog Following.My Profile

    • Amy

      Written on 25th March 2015

      Reply

      Oh Nikki-good luck right back at you huni! It’s weird when you notice boys/men appreciating their looks isn’t it x

    • Amy

      Written on 25th March 2015

      Reply

      I do tend to say exactly what I’m thinking! Poor Holly, she was more grown up about the while thing than I was x

  • Juliet McGrattan

    Written on 26th March 2015

    Reply

    This was painful but lovely to read. My daughter is 7. I’ve always been so determined to do things differently from my mum in this regard. I never told her anything. I’m trying to nurture an open relationship just like the one you sound like you have. Well done. I dread this day!
    Juliet McGrattan recently posted…Wonderful Women with Honest MumMy Profile

    • Amy

      Written on 26th March 2015

      Reply

      Ah thank you Juliet it is definitely a bittersweet time. As you say nurturing that relationship is all we can do as Mothers and hope the rest falls into place. Thanks for reading and commenting x

    • Amy

      Written on 26th March 2015

      Reply

      In some ways I think it would be easier if it was my son saying he had a girlfriend, he’s far too interested in computer games for that though! x

  • Candace

    Written on 26th March 2015

    Reply

    I hit the teenage years in 6 weeks. Scares the hell out of me as although I was a teenager once things have changed so much since them and they seem to be so much more grown up.

    • Amy

      Written on 26th March 2015

      Reply

      Things have changed, everything is so much more accessible now. It is scary but as long as you’re prepared you will be fine xx

  • Mumma McD

    Written on 26th March 2015

    Reply

    It’s lovely that you have such a great relationship that you can talk about these things. I remember just hiding stuff from my mum when I was a teenager because I didn’t feel comfortable talking about it with her. I just hope I can be open and honest with my little girl!
    Mumma McD recently posted…Easy ways to make your blog more accessibleMy Profile

    • Amy

      Written on 26th March 2015

      Reply

      Thank you, yes I hid stuff from my parents and it did me no good. Honesty is the most important thing to me and also being approachable, sounds like you have it planned perfectly xx

  • Mariet - Practicingnormal

    Written on 26th March 2015

    Reply

    I have four little girls. One that is an almost teenager. Your post made me smile and then I started to get a bit sad. We are almost there and my husband and I have talked about rules about visiting boys etc, but it is a difficult thing for parents.
    We are going to have to do this four times, hopefully by number two we will feel like pro’s.
    Mariet – Practicingnormal recently posted…Words that make your heart singMy Profile

    • Amy

      Written on 26th March 2015

      Reply

      Oh wow Mariet four girls!! It is a bit sad but I think the best thing you can do is have a game plan and stick with it and you are right you will be so experienced by the time your little ladies have all grown up. I’d be more concerned about how your going to stop the ‘she stole my clothes’ and ‘so and so won’t get out the bathroom’ situations! Good luck! xx

  • Mama, My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows

    Written on 26th March 2015

    Reply

    Sounds like you handled it really well. I’d have been tempted to either run screaming through the streets or lock the house up with her inside and throw away the key. I really wish I’d had a relationship with my mum that we could have discussed this kind of thing. I’m going to work hard on getting it with my boy when he grows up….but I’m dreading it all the same.

    #sharewithme
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    • Amy

      Written on 26th March 2015

      Reply

      Thank you so much! I have always wanted an open relationship where the children feel they can always talk to me, it’s the most important thing in my book x

  • Lottie Lomas

    Written on 26th March 2015

    Reply

    Lovely post. I have sons (eldest is 14) and I imagine I won’t have to cross this bridge for a while – although I might be wrong! I hope it all goes well for you…I guess we just have to trust them, in the end.

    • Amy

      Written on 26th March 2015

      Reply

      Very true Lottie, what do you have if you don’t have trust? I hope in our house it is mutual. That’s a really good point x

  • Anna Fraser

    Written on 26th March 2015

    Reply

    Amy! You’ve done it again: you’ve nailed my life!

    My daughter (also Holly) came home last May with a similar ‘situation’ and I felt exactly the same as you. They are still together and have a really sweet relationship.

    I too have the same ground rules and they seem to have worked well. My daughter has her exams next month so she is only allowed to see him on Fridays after school, on the proviso that she has revised well from Mon – Thur. I also take away her phone after school (the social media distractions are A JOKE otherwise!) and she is allowed to have it back for half an hour before bed, in order to chat with him. She is constantly telling me that ‘no other parents are as strict as this’ … but I remind her – I don’t give a monkeys about ‘Other parents’!

    Oh, and also – The toddler is INDEED a marvellous addition to this situation – I send mine into her bedroom when things appear to go a little quiet. It works an absolute treat! personally, I think every parent of a teenager should have their own resident cute toddler!
    Anna x
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    • Amy

      Written on 26th March 2015

      Reply

      How funny Anna, so similar! oH I’ve heard that one..the phone thing borders on the ridiculous doesn’t it! I think your rules don’t sound strict at all-just that you care. I love hearing things like this, makes me feel SO much better because you never really know what other parents are doing to discipline but I guess it’s a teenagers prerogative to protest!

      Haha the toddler thing, quite agree all parents to older children should get one! x

  • Claire @ life love and dirty dishes

    Written on 26th March 2015

    Reply

    This brought a lump to my throat. Beautifully written. I hope my kids will always come to me. My eldest is 5 so at the moment “so and so said Batman is silly” is the biggest of our dramas!
    #sharewithme
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  • Emma White

    Written on 26th March 2015

    Reply

    When Nakita was 13 she told me she was gay, its not been a shock and its actually worked out wonderfully because I don’t have the worry over boys ;) Well not just yet although Nakita is 16 now and her sister is coming up 13 – Oh no here we go again

    • Amy

      Written on 26th March 2015

      Reply

      I can imagine that could be quite a relief in a way..I think we worry so much about how boys will treat our girls because we know from our experiences how hurtful they can be. Good luck with your 13 year old! Thanks for reading and commenting xx

  • christina

    Written on 26th March 2015

    Reply

    I think this period of time is the most stressful for parents of girls. I have two daughters and worried about all the same things. You have given her great advice. All you can do now is keep your fingers crossed, and be on stand by with ice cream, chick flicks and hugs. :)
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  • Katie @mummydaddyme

    Written on 26th March 2015

    Reply

    Sob! This made me feel a bit emotional Amy- but wow isn’t she a beautiful girl? I can’t imagine my girls being this age and not needing me like they do now. But like you say, she will always be your baby. xx

    • Amy

      Written on 26th March 2015

      Reply

      Thank you Katie-it made me really emotional writing this to be honest. It does feel like the end of an era. She will most definitely always be my baby xx

  • Natalie Ray

    Written on 27th March 2015

    Reply

    Aw bless, this is a lovely post. It sounds like you have a great relationship with your daughter, I would be so proud to have this sorry of a relationship with my two when they are teens.xx
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  • Katie / Pouting In Heels

    Written on 27th March 2015

    Reply

    Amy – This is such a stunning post -honest, heartfelt and full of love. This is my favourite post of yours to date and I have to say, had me in tears at the end.

    I’m a long way off from those teenage years with Elsie but I know they will be here in a flash and I can completely see where you are coming from. But by the sounds of it, with a caring wise mum like you, she will be absolutely fine so try not to worry! :)

    And P.S You’re a super writer you know. You really are. And I never say that lightly. xxxx
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    • Amy

      Written on 27th March 2015

      Reply

      I was tearful writing it to be honest-I felt so sad at her reaching that point in her life but so very proud of the young lady she’s become. The years with Elsie will go by in a flash my love, make the most of it..
      and thank you so much Katie that means the world to me truly. Coming from you; a writer I so respect and admire, well that has just made my day xxxx

  • jenny

    Written on 28th March 2015

    Reply

    I think I would have had the same reaction myself and I love all your ground rules too. I am taking note and most of them are the same ground rules my own mother made me promise too. I am so worried about having teenagers and luckily have time before that happens to wrap my head around the rules and how to cope with teenagers. Taking advice from you until then. :) Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me. #sharewithme
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    • Amy

      Written on 30th March 2015

      Reply

      Ah thanks Jenny, it is a worry and I suppose you never know how you will handle something until it’s thrown at you directly. Consider me on hand for advice although I could balls it up! xx

    • Amy

      Written on 30th March 2015

      Reply

      Yes exactly they always will be won’t they-doesn’t matter how old they get x

  • teacuptoria

    Written on 31st March 2015

    Reply

    Hi Amy, Oh I love this post. It is definitely bitter sweet watching your children grow up. My son is only 9 but already such a deep thinker and has had the same ‘girlfriend’ for three years in school! He says he doesn’t want just a girlfriend he wants her! Lord knows what trouble I’m going to have! I really feel for you but if you’re brought her up with tons of love, self respect and to know that she can talk to you about anything she should be fine. Exciting times ahead, stay positive! xx
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    • Amy

      Written on 31st March 2015

      Reply

      Ah thank you Tor. Bless your son he’s such a sweet boy. Who knows what’s on the horizon but I have a feeling you and him will be just fine! Thanks for your kind words xx

  • Penny Pincher

    Written on 1st April 2015

    Reply

    Aww such a lovely post at the end and I’ve done this with 2 girls already, 2 more to girls to go… I know how you feel. The 1st thing I said to my 16 year old was “Are you using contraception” I felt like an idiot saying it but it was an important question to ask!

    • Amy

      Written on 1st April 2015

      Reply

      Yes exactly once I got over the bluntness of what I’d said I thought no hang on a minute this is important that I can say this even if it’s the last thing on her mind x

  • Bianca

    Written on 2nd April 2015

    Reply

    Thank you for sharing this. With a daughter age 13 I’m ‘right behind you’ and can appreciate how difficult it must be!
    I have a bit of a different worry. She’s at a single sex school and her activities are ballet and netball. So no boys! There’s very little socialising and mostly family time on the weekends. So she might end up not meeting ‘the boy’ before she’s 18! I think a gradually approach to the the whole romance thing sounds better.
    Enjoy your open and lovely relationship with your daughter -sounds like she is a bright girl with lots of support from home.

    Lots of love x
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    • Amy

      Written on 2nd April 2015

      Reply

      Hi Bianca, gosh it’s hard isn’t it. I have to say I will be considering an all girls school for Rose when she gets older-I feel that children learn better in a same sex environment. There are so many distractions at school though I suppose. Thanks for your words xx

  • Tegan (A Kiwi Mumma)

    Written on 4th April 2015

    Reply

    Oh dear. The reality has hit home that one day I have to give my little girl “away”. Love this post. I must say it brought tears to my eyes at the eventuality of my little girl becoming a woman. <3
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    • Amy

      Written on 4th April 2015

      Reply

      Oh thank you so much Tegan, it is such an emotional time and even thinking about it can be scary I know x

  • rachel

    Written on 5th April 2015

    Reply

    I am so anxious about having this conversation with my 9 year old daughter! My eldest girl is no longer my baby already and I am struggling with that let alone dealing with boys!
    What’s great is that you were able to talk to your daughter about it and your daughter didn’t hide the fact she has a boyfriend. When I was younger a lot of my friends hid that from their mums. You must both have a lovely mother and daughter bond x
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    • Amy

      Written on 27th April 2015

      Reply

      Thank you Rachel, we do have a lovely relationship and I’m so thankful for that. It is hard when they start to think about boys though and sometimes I just blurt out whatever is in my head! xx
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  • Marta

    Written on 20th May 2015

    Reply

    Oh my Lord, my daughter is 15 now. My heart, my baby girl.

    I totally agree with your rules Amy, never be to careful. They say urgh now, but it’s all that boys think about. The teenage boy is very passionate and careless free.

    Unfortunately we mums have a very difficult part, we need to advise our daughters of boys that just want to sportsfish (get them and leave them).

    We once were teenagers, and by now we know almost all the tricks.

    Lord give strength not to “kill” anyone. ;)

    Thank you for your lovely post.

    x Marta
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    • Amy

      Written on 8th June 2015

      Reply

      It is so unbelievably hard isn’t it. They will always be our babies won’t they? You are so right-we have been there! Stay strong, don’t kill anyone ;-) Thanks for reading xx

  • Sherry

    Written on 20th May 2015

    Reply

    Oh my goodness this post had me completely engrossed. And your last few sentences bought a tear to my eye. Such a topic every parent dreads and you captured t perfectly. My girly is 2 and I couldn’t imagine it. I think I’ll try and freeze time ;) x
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  • Alice Megan

    Written on 24th May 2015

    Reply

    Haha this was pretty much the reaction my mum had when I brought my first boyfriend home at the same age as your daughter! (still with him now!) Trust me if she’s telling you about him you’ve done the job right :)
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  • Kat | Beau Twins

    Written on 25th May 2015

    Reply

    Oh sweetie, I can totally understand. I would be exactly the same. It’s such a scary age in that respect. It’s the transition from child to woman. I hope my two don’t cause me the same grief I did to my mum. I was always partying on London. Did no harm but still lied about where I was. Tut tut. Beautiful post hun. Your girl will be grounded because she is loved so much. Xxxx
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  • Vanessa

    Written on 28th May 2015

    Reply

    We didn’t grow up in a time of sexting & Snapchat. I think you’re spot on with your reactions. I wish there were more parents talking openly and honestly about sex, and safe sex, with their children/teens. I dread the day when my daughter announces she has a boyfriend; she is 9yo and thinks they are unhygienic and disgusting and I hope this lasts till she’s 18! LOL.
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    • Amy

      Written on 8th June 2015

      Reply

      Well I STILL think they are unhygienic and disgusting most of the time lol! Thanks Vanessa x

  • Sharon powell

    Written on 28th May 2015

    Reply

    OMG Amy this is almost exactly like the post I have been meaning to write. My almost 15 year old has got a boyfriend she loves (only this one is 16 ) and that was the first thing out of my mouth too. It’s good that we can say that though and know they will give the standard response but she does openly talk to me about stuff like that. My rules are the same too. Scary times ahead for both of us x

  • Rebecca

    Written on 4th June 2015

    Reply

    Oh my. I have a 14 year old daughter and I am so not ready for this. I really want to behave the way you did and be just as rational and sensible, but it’s going to take an awful lot of restraint for me to do that. Why must they grow up so fast! I love them as 14 year olds- wish they could stay there forever, not sure how I will cope with the next few years!
    Rebecca recently posted…Smartsun Wristbands- Holiday Essentials To Keep You Cancer (& Wrinkle) FreeMy Profile

    • Amy

      Written on 4th June 2015

      Reply

      Yes absolutely let’s find a way of keeping them exactly as they are. Time machine maybe? x

  • Anne-Marie

    Written on 11th June 2015

    Reply

    Wow!! Just started reading your blog and it really resonates with me. I’m a Mum to a hormonal pre-teen (who got her first boyfriend a couple of days ago) and a super clingy breastfed baby. A big age gap here too. Looking forward to reading more of your work ❤️ . I’m a newbie blogger too. I’d love you to check out my site and tell me what you think at warmheartedmama.wordpress.com xx

  • MumReinvented

    Written on 14th June 2015

    Reply

    I’m dreading this! My daughter is 13 and at the moment she still claims she can’t stand boys, but give it time and I can imagine having this exact same conversation – probably including the blurting out ‘Don’t have sex’ part.

    Your Holly should be a model! She’s absolutely gorgeous – you’re gonna have to lock her up! x
    MumReinvented recently posted…Netflix, Potty Training and Country Songs #littlelovesMy Profile

  • Joanne

    Written on 22nd August 2015

    Reply

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    me to pay a visit this web page, it consists of priceless Information.
    Joanne recently posted…JoanneMy Profile

  • Diane

    Written on 9th November 2015

    Reply

    My daughter is 15 and recently had her first boyfriend. I worried about the same things but to be honest she didn’t seem to bothered by him I just think she said yes to him because all her friends were starting to date. Anyhow a week later he dumped her on Facebook by inbox for being to quiet for him…. She was more annoyed he done it like that then telling her face to face. There was no tears and she said after that she has no interest in a boyfriend right now and just wants to finish school etc YAY (I think he put her off boys for a while) so in a way I still have it all to come but hoping she puts it off a few years now haha x

  • Tanita

    Written on 3rd March 2016

    Reply

    Amy this made me cry my eyes out i am sitting here in a blubbery mess… Just had me thinking about my Sophia and it’s just got me so teary and emotional. It was written so well with just the right amount of ‘seriousness’ (I know that’s not a word but stumped for another) and sentiment too. This reminds me to Hold onto every moment as Sophia has just started reception I am experiencing the very early stages of having an attitude. xx
    Tanita recently posted…ME & MINE | FEBRUARYMy Profile

  • Emma

    Written on 1st April 2016

    Reply

    What a powerful post. This has just made me a little bit emotional. It has also prompted me to give both of my girls the biggest hug. I am not ready for this day. I want them to stay my babies for ever. They grow up so fast, don’t they. x
    Emma recently posted…No television please! We are middle-class.My Profile

  • Kate

    Written on 16th April 2016

    Reply

    You know what? I really don’t think anyone gives teenage girls enough credit (I blame the media) They’re smarter and stronger then we think.

    As much as I don’t want my two to get to this stage, it’s biologically programmed and it will happen. I think I’m more worried that they won’t want to talk to me about it or won’t heed my advice. I was a right flirt at 15 but I was fully in control. If they take anything from me I hope it’s my strength and not giving 2 shits about what other people think.

    I understand the scare factor though, mine are 4 and 1 so I have a long way to go but I do think about it. Maybe thinking about it for the next decade will prepare me and when the time cones ill handle it like a pro. X

    • Amy Treasure

      Written on 17th April 2016

      Reply

      I don’t agree (sorry!) I do give my daughter credit where it is due, but I don’t trust her to make the right decisions all of the time, regardless of how strong, sensible and smart she is, because, well, she is a teenager and with the best will in the world and not meaning to be patronising at all; you will understand when you have a couple of your own.

      We have to face the facts that teen pregnancy in the UK is the highest in Europe and has been for a long time. I know, because I am part of that statistic. I, like you, was a flirt when I was 15, but I was not in control and it went further than that, I was having sex and I was pregnant not long after my 18th birthday.

      The fact that having sex is potentially on my daughter’s agenda (and almost certainly on her boyfriend’s!) fills me with utter dread. What I want her to know is that I have rules and part of those rules are not being allowed to shut the door etc, because and I am being completely honest here, I don’t trust them and I would rather err on the side of caution and she accepts that.

      I know how hard it is to be a teen mum and to have that cross to bear-I realise I sound dramatic but believe me, it was so hard to have the stigma and be tarnished by the same brush as all young mums and it took me a really long time to get over it (thus the extra precautions with my own children- if you’ll pardon the pun!) I am sure your children will talk to you when the time comes, being open and most importantly honest has served me well so far, so the fact you are preparing is amazing! Thanks for reading and commenting, I really appreciate it x

  • Kathleen

    Written on 23rd November 2016

    Reply

    Our 17 year old has been acting odd lately. My husband and I have been suspicious that she’s up to something. She’s been unusually nice. I know I sound ungrateful, but it really is out of character for her. Anyway, she is at high school, with 1 more year to go. Today she said she wanted to go for a walk and she didn’t know what time she would be back. We live in the country, approx. 20 mins drive to the nearest town, so she would just be walking country roads. I had a gut feeling that she was up to something. Her walk lasted 4 hours! I drove down roads to see if I could find her. She arrived home in a red car, driven by a boy. She brought him in and introduced him. Unfortunately my husband wasn’t home so he did not get to meet him. He seemed nice, but when I asked him what he wanted to do now that he has finished school, he appeared to have no ambition. My daughter has done really, really well at school up until about 2 months ago. I feel I can now join the dots! I am so sad because she has gone from someone who always strived for excellence in everything to this stranger who doesn’t even care about passing exams! In fact, the last school report 1 month ago, did not sound like our daughter. I am utterly heartbroken. She was going to be a Medic in the Airforce/Navy. However, because she is not studying (her last exam tomorrow), I fear she will not get sufficient grades to be a Medic anyway. My husband and I are disappointed and devastated. For about 2 months she has been very moody and sulky. We have three other children (twin daughters at uni, in their last year or their degrees and our youngest son, Jack, who has 2 years to go at high school). She is very short tempered and quite awful with all of us. We all tip toe around her. Occasionally I get sick of it and I tell her how awful she is. Anyway, I too asked her if she is having sex. She went mad at me and said I had no right to ask her that. I said I have every right because this is more than just about her. Her choices right now affect all of us. I had to go to a meeting this evening, so she was home with my husband. I did not get to tell him much, just that I met her boyfriend today. He said what boyfriend? I said you might want to talk to her about it tonight. Unfortunately, when I got home, she had gone to stay at a friend’s house. He is disappointed because she has been very sly lately, but especially because of her school grades. She has no idea of what she is throwing away, but I can’t live her life. I am 56 years old, my husband is 58 and our lives are probably going to be shorter than hers, so I have to stop worrying about her mucking up her life, and just get on with my own. It is very hard to love her at the moment though, because she is like some ugly impersonator or our daughter!

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